GREATNESS AND TALENT

Maybe I'm just really one of the less endowed population in the world who are unlucky enough not to possess any talents at all.

One of my friends told me recently that when I want something, I tend to obsess about it. Her words were, 'KINA-CAREER'. She's right, you know. I often find my self totally engrossed in things that I find interesting. And guess what! I find it so hard and long to get over these things. When I like something, my focus gets out of balance. It's like loosing my periphery on my whole personal entity and social life.


Notwithstanding my dedication and perseverance, I still fail to deliver brilliance in anything I put my hands, mind and heart into. I'm now starting to think I really have no artistic inclinations nor have I managed throughout the years to circumscribe my self into any creative forte.


I've tried sports (tennis) during my younger years...Don't ask me about it. I sucked so bad!!! It felt like having two arms and two legs but attached to the wrong side of my torso.

I've tried the literary gridiron during my high school years...It's never receptive to a mediocre intelligence like mine.

I joined a cultural dance troupe in college, but managed, once, without great effort to bring down the group into a comedic parody in a concert that was meant to be a portrayal of a Bukidnon legend.

I tried cake decorating, which I really enjoyed the first few steps of the way but rendered me despondent towards the end.

Now, I'm laying my hand on photography, and I've not been thinking of anything else the last few weeks, but concentrating earnestly on getting a compelling subject. Yet, I feel I am failing to deliver...Again.

What is so wrong with me???


What am I really destined to be? What am I good at? I know for a fact that what I do for a living right now, is not a pursuit I'm hoping to ascend upon and look back to when I'm 65 years old and could honestly cerebrate and possibly say, "Wow, I did good in something I truly loved doing". Yes. I will forever be grateful for such a blessing. God bestowed me such a decent, respectable and a relatively easy job. It can be stressful sometimes, but overall, it's not something that consumes me and my life. I will forever be thankful for having been given the opportunity to do public service.


Behind all gratitude, contentment and comfort, there is that incite that keeps on prodding in my being to do better. To reach the zenith of my capabilities. To do something grand. Not for financial bliss but more so an act of mental, emotional and social dissection. Testing my own yardstick, so to speak.


Unfortunately, it looks bleak right now. It seems that the benchmark I've so far established is not that eminent just yet.


But I have recently realised that the criterion for greatness is not relative to the perception of others, rather, it is the act of seeking greatness. It is the acknowledgement of the fact that individuals can take on anything yet fail on everything, but realising that testing oneself is greatness in itself.


Life is too short, if I don't put my toes in any murky waters, I'll never know what and how it would feel on my skin. I will continue to be scared of failure and be forever entombed in a small narrow world.


So now, I've decided I will not question my ability. Instead, I will go on and explore this vast macrocosm, the many possibilities, appreciate the beauty of the diverse humanity and never be scared to test any waters.


Come my deathbed, I can say, " I tried that, I failed...I tried those, I failed...But at least I know what they are, because I've tried them."

I don't want to become like this flower that holds no memory of what it once was...



So for my 'pangangareer' in anything that fascinates me...onward I go. I say, bring it on!


What's next? Maybe write a book???? Oh-oh

HAPPY VALENTINES

Happy Valentines day everyone!!!

Hope this day brings a lot of love and romance in your life. Enjoy.

THE AUSTRALIAN SPIRIT AMIDST THE FIRE

The embers still glowing, smoke rising and fire surging. The bushfire in Victoria has stupefied the whole nation. Families torn. Houses destroyed. People died and some dying. Identities erased. Personal belongings charred.

It is hard to understand the intensity of this catastrophe when you're merely hearing it from the news. Although bushfires are fairly common here in Australia, nothing has prepared anyone to this severity. Brought about by changing weather, several heat waves whipped across Victoria and Adelaide the last few weeks. The actual mass fatality from burning and smoke inhalation was precedented by deaths from exhaustion and dehydration due to the rise of temperature down south. It's alarming when you see articles in the news saying Northern Territory is the coolest place in Australia nowadays, when Northern Territory should be the hottest this time of the year.

Bushfire warnings were issued as experts anticipated these kind of occurrence during bushfire seasons. But the breach between warnings and apprehensions has proven to be as devastating as it is when Tsunami hits a shore. No one can ever predict the fervor of any calamities irrespective of any forecasts.

The death toll stood at 181 this afternoon but experts warned it can go up to 250, as the search goes on for the 80 who are missing. There were reports that dead people were found inside cars trying to get away from the fires but got caught

in the deluge of blazes. Those who escaped compared the torrent of fire to that of a tsunami, which was impossible to outrun.

One town with 200 inhabitants lost 15% of it's population to the fire. In my almost 15 years of residency here in Australia, I've witnessed cyclones, floods and bushfires. However, they are nothing near in comparison to this. This is by far the biggest devastation I have ever witnessed since I came here. I am not in Victoria but I can feel the percussion this bushfire has befallen in every Australian.

A politician here in the NT, one who witnessed cyclone Tracey as well as this bushfire, said she'd rather relive Cyclone Tracy than this.

It started over the weekend when an arsonist started the Gippsland fires which somehow spread across the state. Coupled with strong winds and extremely high temperatures, it was the perfect concoction for a super bushfire.

There are photos surfacing of people deliberately lighting fires around bushfire prone areas. You sort of wonder what are in the minds of these people. What do they expect? What do they get out of it? Do they have some kind of fantasy to get burned? Why?

What we know is that this act is nothing short of MURDER, worst than murder. It's mass murder. I strongly suggest that the arsonist responsible for this bushfire should be burned to death. When I saw the desolation the victims were going through, looking for loved ones and trying so desperately to salvage anything from the ruins that may help them prove who they are at the very least...I thought to my self, why am I complaining about my old, atrocious and faded quilt cover?

Although we get a lot of rain here in the Northern Territory, we also have the dry season, which can also lead to bushfires. These photos I've posted are actual bushfires that happened in front of our house last year after we've just come back from holiday. It's the area where I took the sunset photo, which I've posted previously. It may look safe because you could actually see a fire truck containing the lit area. But it still looked and felt scary because I can physically feel the heat and hear the creaking sounds even when I was several meters away from the fire.

In times like this, you can really see the Australian spirits trying to surge amidst devastation. You can also see in them the 'bayanihan' spirit that we, Filipinos, so nurture within our society. It's this spirit that made them survive Cyclone Tracy, the Bali bombing and the Port Arthur massacre.

Estranging my self from my roots and culture is virtually impossible. I even make sure that my son knows and understands more of it than he's meaning to take on. But in tragedies like this, I am very appreciative of the fact I am also an Australian. An Australian who feels the pain that the whole nation is feeling right now. How the nation stands so dignified after the many catharses it's gone over and around throughout it's young history is a classic example of real Aussie vitality. Something to get inspiration from, and something to learn from.

Filipinos might say, " mabuhay ang Pilipino!!!"

Aussies go, "AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI! OI! OI!"

More better, "NO WORRIES MATE!"

GET WET IN DARWIN

I'm lovin' the weather here in Darwin the last few days. It's wet, it's gloomy but it's cool. (Like Forks!!! Ahahahaha! Singit na naman).

Edward can live here anytime...I'll shelter him from the sun! Free board and lodging. Anyway, he does not eat, and I love dinugoan...and he doesn't sleep. He can always sneak in our masters bedroom when my hubby's away...

Anyway, Queensland's had a cyclone, Adelaide and Melbourne had heat waves, but Darwin's welcoming the wet. Monsoon trough brought extended rain period this past week. It's cooling down this normally humid season and giving every Darwin household a free garden re-hydration. The only drawback is, our yard has become an oasis for Cane Toad wanderers. It's not safe for my adopted son to go out on his own even in our own backyard. He hates their croaking sound and would love to tear their skin out...which will be fatal for him. If you have read my post loooong time ago about cane toads being pests here in the Northern Territory, Queensland and West Australia, you'd know why. I suppose there is no hope for these disgusting looking toads to be eradicated.

I'm hoping this weather's gonna go on 'till May...then we'll have the cold southern winter wind. Wouldn't it be good....

I'm getting sleepy now with the tripitraptrap sound up on our roof...Good night.

Oh, how are my pictures? Any comments?

COLECCIONES DE ESTANTE

My sister's just about done reading the first three books of the Twilight saga. Last time I spoke to her, she told me she's slowly reading ECLIPSE because she does not have BREAKING DAWN. She got sucked into the frenzy too, and so did my cousin, Bebz. Once you've gone past TWILIGHT, and started on NEW MOON, there is no stopping anymore. I hope my sis have finally found the last book because I know how it feels to search every corner of every bookstore you get into for the missing book. In fact, I have searched the whole of Australia for ECLIPSE back in December (or something). It's an atrocious experience. I had nightmares!!!

Anyway, my sister told me she's really going to put the whole series of books on he 'ESTANTE'. It's funny, because she's never the kind who parades books as some form of house decors for people to see in her lounge room. It's also funny because I have done exactly the same thing. I have a book shelf full off books in our study, far from guests sights. But since that book shelf is so full already, I have decided to fill up another bookshelf in our first living room with only my favorites, if not my first choice(s).

Now, they definitely look like house decors. Weird and...just weird. But there is no better place for them to be in right now but somewhere where people/guests will recognize straight away that whoever is living in this house is a TWILIGHT addict...and they better not criticise the saga and Stephenie Meyer, unless they want to be thrown out of the house!

For the longest time, I have not read a book that has really impressed me the way these four did. The last ,I think, was ' THE DA VINCI CODE' and ' ANGELS AND DEMONS'. I've read a lot of books since then, but nothing that made me think, how the hell did this writer come up with such a plot?

If you want to know how piteous I've become when it comes to this saga...here's an approximation...how about reading all four books 5 times since December?

God, I need a shrink!

Here's another Stephenie Meyer's which I bought today, THE HOST. Is it the weekend yet? Don't think its a good idea to start this one now. I Won't be sleeping tonight.

Monday down....Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to go...........

DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY

This is the beauty of digital photography...If you did it wrong, you can always go back and correct any mistakes. Any flaws captured, you can always eliminate. Any unwanted objects, you can delete. It makes me think however, one does not necessarily have to be artistic, one just needs to be techno-savvy to create something brilliant out of a flawed and amateur composition.

My bro and sis pointed out to me in my previous post not to put a subject right in the middle of the photograph, which really makes a lot of sense after reading "THE RULES OF COMPOSITION" . So here is an edited version of the 'Lilly' photograph which does not break the 'RULE OF THIRDS' anymore.

Here's an even further enhance version of this photograph. Notice the difference in colors? It's a lot stronger and more pronounced. Wonder what else I can do with this picture? Maybe put a butterfly on the flower? Oh...sis, can I borrow that broken winged butterfly?

For someone like me, with creative aptitude deficiency, I dare say, thanks God for digital photography and editing!

STALKING THE GECKO

One of my models (CAT) went for a holiday in 'Pinas', so I'm left with only my camera to experiment on. Although Mona's still here, Cat left some threatening words just before she left..."NO PICTORIALS WHILE I'M AWAY". Mona's not taking that threat for granted, and we intend to make true to our promise to wait for her before we experiment further along with photography and modelling.

But she did not stipulate anything against getting a new model. So while sitting in front of our house in Farrar, waiting for the sun set, and hoping to get another twilight view, I caught sight of this magnificent creature. I thought this is a better model than Mona and Catrina...Someone who does not bewail about clothes and make-up and does not ask for copies of photos for FRIENDSTERS and FACEBOOK!!!

Please welcome, THE GECKO!

One lonesome and unsuspecting lizard, traveling past my driveway while I was armed with my new toy. There is no better way to waste time, but stalk a gecko. I felt like an idiot looking like a paparazzo around my own backyard. My neighbors must've thought I was spying on the neighborhood. Unbeknownst to them, I found a more intriguing subject than human form itself.

I am still determined to learn how to make use of this camera. So here goes more of my practice subjects... No idea what I was doing...All I was trying to achieve was to get a clear photo. Any constructive criticisms are welcome.
I wake up each morning with this view across the street from my window. Our suburb is a very young residential area, so most of the lands are still up for grabs. But there is an existing covenant protecting this very land that I took a shot of. There will be no building/housing structures to be erected in the next 5 or so years. I think they intend to just make this a nature strip. If you're lucky, kangaroos and Dingos do pop out of this mini-jungle from time to time.

When we walk our adopted son, Ikki, out (that's actually his toilet right there), specially at night, we do carry with us a piece of stick to whack on a dingo, should one come out and decide Ikki is looking delicious.

The sun sets straight across the horizon from our bedroom window. It's a view to die for. Above photo is what this view looks like during day time.

Right down the bottom is Ikki. He got invited to a pug birthday party this

coming weekend. We're hoping we could go, so Ikki can have fun too...smelling and kissing butts out there.

Anyway, I have to go, take some more photos... Who knows, I might chance on a subject worth millions.

Yeah Right!

Ikki, go fetch a vampire!!!

Now, that would be something to see!

PRACTICE WITH A TWILIGHT TWIST

Being the first long weekend of the year (AUSTRALIA DAY), I am determined to learn something about my newly acquired toy from my brother. Took a lot of photos...with models of course....inexpensive ones (free actually)

I tried so dang hard to forget about Twilight, unfortunately, it just keeps popping up in my head. We went to the casino (mind you, I'm not a big gambler), and I saw this machine with a big Wolf theme. So I decided to forget and let go of a ten dollar note in my purse...just wanting to see the Wolf cry....Well wadayaknow! Made an eighty dollar return in my purse! All the while, only thinking about Jacob. Hah!

Anyway, I took some shots of my friends Mona and Cat. Then I decided to create a TWILIGHT theme on one (of the hundreds) of Cat's photos. This is my blog's version of Bella Swan-The Vampire....

The photos do not look professionally edited just yet, but give me a couple more months...or a year, I'll master this craft. I would like to say I love the camera, but how can I love something when I still don't know how to use it to it's full potential?

I am enjoying, however, the company of this powerful toy. If you have not noticed on this blog, my peer group has no shame, what so ever when it comes to facing cameras. We can already see projects lining up for my models...They've even got costumes ready, women magazines to study and locations to explore...Feeling professional kami lahat!!!

But in fairness, bagay naman sa kanila di ba? Tingnan nyo naman, Pang Twilight talaga.

Just have a look at Cat's transformation...

See below...We've already got a New Moon Version...Actually, NEW MOON CAKE version. That's Monalisa, dressed up like an oriental Bella Swan. Took Cat a few minutes to do Mona's make-up. Then, she did hers as well trying to impersonate a glamourous photo of Angelina Jollie, only to end up looking like a vampire...Pero pang Twilight na Vampire no!

NEW MOON CAKE

EMMETT'S TRUCK NASA FARRAR!!

ASK, AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN YOU

I know I know...I'm a bit of a spoiled brat. If you remember long time ago, I posted something which advertised my dire need of a new camera. Well, someone's heard my prayers...Hah!

My brother, Bong sent me his old camera...which is not so old for me by the way. He's now got a Nikon D300, so he's abdicated his old toy. And guess who's got it?

Yes, lucky ME, MOI...

I've absolutely no idea how to operate this DSLR camera, so I'm still sort of an amaurotic photographer. But I am determined to learn and make full use of this new toy.

I am so used to using the 5MP camera on my Nokia N95(8GB) phone. Whent I got the camera yesterday from Ate Luz (who's just returned from Pinas-Thanks for bringing the camera ), I fiddled with it straight away. I was trying to take photos but wondered why the subject does not appear on the screen while I'm taking the shot. It only appears after the shot has been taken...Well, I feel like an idiot now that my brother has explained to me one of the DSLR functions...Man, I've got a lot to learn!

Now that I have a new best friend, I don't think I'm going to get bored after the TWILIGHT frenzy. As they say, WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER DOOR OPENS...kaya may bintana din!!!

I'm not dumping my old friend, Nokia N95 though. It's still a good friend. I've only got a new found best friend...Who says you can't have two at the same time huh?

My First Model-Xander the Great

I bet my sister's whining right now....hihihihi. Sorry Sis, my turn to have a nice treat from Bong!

Bong, thanks. I've never had a good camera in my whole life, so I will definitely take care of this one. If you get tired of your new Nikon D300, I'm just here, and my place is a good dumping ground for that...

Hmmm life....

My first shot

What's next? Oh, I'm in bad need of a new car too. My car's buggerd up already. Maybe you want to send me your Toyota FJ Cruiser too...

Now, I'm taking a looonggg shot...ano sabi nila? 'Hampas sa buwan' ba yon? Hihirit pa talaga....Tsk Tsk Tsk.

Ask and it shall be given nga kasi, di ba?

WEEKEND COME AND GONE

Dang! Weekend's almost finished.

Yes, I have finished Eclipse in 26 hours. Hardly slept Friday night... I slept at around 3:00 AM and woke up at 6:AM Saturday, then started reading again... Nope, I haven't done much household chores over the weekend.

Right after I finished the book last night, we went to Dr. Ed Aralar's birthday, which was sort of a big relief and heart lightening event...Only Tribung Tralala knows why...Thanks guys for understanding....We do value every friendship, specially this group. Anyway, Happy birthday Daddy ED...Hope you will have a healthier year ahead and more kakanin na lulutoin para sa amin.

Now that I have finally read all the Twilight series (except Midnight Sun, which is still in a thought process), I feel so sad. As pathetic as it may sound, but I have already read Twilight three times and Breaking Dawn twice. I don't want to re-read Eclipse...So I decided to go fishing with my husband today. Cat and the kids came with us to the Channel Island, about 10-15 minutes drive from home.

We were literally under the sun the whole day through. We planned on staying there for just an hour, but for those who know what fishing's like...That is impossible.

Moses with his catch for the day, Spanish Flag & Myself,

Cat, putting a bait on her line.

Well, look what's happened to my skin....I look like a lechon. Got sun burnt beyond recognition.
We got some fish, but not as much as we wanted though. So I'm not sure if this sun-burn is worth it.

Anyway, I'm glad to have gone out today and forgot about my TWILIGHT life. I think I've gone far too obsessed with the saga already. Time to get back on track...My own voyage.

Tomorrow, back to reality. Work is where I get to think that life isn't all about fun. Life has to have a financial source to have fun....

FINAAAALLLLLLY!!! THE LONG WAIT IS OVER...

Over a week ago I reserved a copy of Eclipse in almost all book stores out of desperation and fear that all copies might get sold out again. Then this afternoon, while I was at work, BigW, yes the shop I was planning to rob rang me...Guess what?

I HAVE GOT MY ECLIPSE!!!!!

I felt like going AWOL, leave work and head straight to BigW.

BigW, thank you so much. They're the first to ring me...

...and I also managed to snag a copy of the Twilight soundtrack...

Mona picked the book up for me since she was in Casuarina this afternoon.

Just an hour ago, my friend Cat, the ever annoying CAT(!)...buzzed me in the Yahoo Messenger and said, Xander (M0na's 2 year old son) dropped the freakin book in the Toilet!!!
I told her...I'll never forgive Mona...But I'll still have the book and read it (even if Xander pissed on it).

But, here it is....My Eclipse! Safe, sound, in tact and most iportantly...DRY!

So friends and families...you won't hear from me in the next 24 hours. I will be readin' and listenin' all niiiiggghhhht looooonnnggg....

No YM tonight. No calls to be answered.

Bai Bai.

OMT!!! (Oh My Twilight!!!)

I would have dug my face into mounds of cow's dung if I knew I was to win the bloody VOLVO!!!

Or actually, even just to hug Edward and Jacob!!! The VOLVO??? Icing on the cake.

Watch the Tyra Banks 1 first, before Tyra Banks 2...It's so funny. Takes your mind away from Rob's hair.

IF GODS MUST BE CRAZY THEN VAMPIRES MUST BE STINKY

Honestly, he looked better in Twilight. Now, c'mon yall... I know you're with me on this one. This image can't be anywhere near Edward Cullen. I don't know how Catherine did it, but she definitely did a good job... Oh he's cut his locks just a couple of days ago. No need to worry about him looking like a vampire on meth.

Robert Pattinson on Jay Leno - 11/26/2008
Uploaded by melbdanger

THE WORLD OF THE LUCKY DAMNED HAS ENDED....NOT QUITE

Yes and No.

Yes, I have reached the end of the Twilight saga. And No, I haven't had any luck in finding ECLIPSE. You won't believe what I've had to go through trying to find a copy of the third book, but even bookstores down south are waiting on back orders.

It's very unfortunate that I don't have Edward Cullen's self control. Yes, I did try, waited, and was unusually patient for a while there. But when my friend, Cat, texted me saying,

"THERES ECLIPSE AT COLES AND TARGET"

...I thought, my prayer's been answered, finally. But I did wonder for a moment why they are selling ECLIPSE at COLES. For those of you who don't know, Coles is a chain of grocery stores here in Australia. Yes, they've got meat there for Jacob.

Anyway, I thought nothing much of it but I was getting my self so hyped up and ready to drive away to buy a copy.

Then guess what the big joke was!!!

MINT GUMS!!!

HaHaHa! Very funny Catrina!

How gullible can I get when it comes to this??? That did it!!! I've had enough! Enough waiting and looking and searching and calling... I'm gonna read BREAKING DAWN!

And so I did...

Now, Ive finally reached the conclusion of the whole saga without reading bloody ECLIPSE...

Having read BREAKING DAWN and not reading ECLIPSE first, I don't think it's detrimental to the big finale. Each book has a story of it's own, in a way. Yes, one should read TWILIGHT, then NEW MOON, then ECLIPSE, then BREAKING DAWN ideally. But if you do decide to skip, I'm happy to advise, go for it.

I seek Daniel Pennac's Readers Bill of Rights:

1. The Right to Not Read

2. The Right to Skip Pages

3. The Right to Not Finish

4. The Right to Reread

5. The Right To Read Anything

6. The Right to Escapism

7. The Right to Read Anywhere

8. The Right to Browse

9. The Right to Read Out Loud

10. The Right to Not Defend Your Tastes

(taken from: http://sally906.blogspot.com/)

Please refer point No.2...right to skip. I exercised this right.

I honestly do not think it's going to affect my 'could be' reactions and feelings for ECLIPSE, should copies of the book be out this coming week. Had I read BREAKING DAWN before NEW MOON, it would not have made such a big impact on my perception of the saga. I'm pretty sure I'll still be able to fit the pieces together the way they should be.

Oh, I also seek RBR No.10... The right not to defend... This entails, yes the genres of the books I read, and in this case, how I read it.

So for those who bludgeoned me for having cheated and skipped...like the friend who sent me the ECLIPSE GUM picture...and Mona, who got talked into reading TWILIGHT post Twilight movie...EAT YOUR HEART OUT!!! I've read it...I'm finished...and I'm re-reading them all!!!

Head high...Chin up...walk straight and say...Beeeee!!!! (tongue out)