GREATNESS AND TALENT

Maybe I'm just really one of the less endowed population in the world who are unlucky enough not to possess any talents at all.

One of my friends told me recently that when I want something, I tend to obsess about it. Her words were, 'KINA-CAREER'. She's right, you know. I often find my self totally engrossed in things that I find interesting. And guess what! I find it so hard and long to get over these things. When I like something, my focus gets out of balance. It's like loosing my periphery on my whole personal entity and social life.


Notwithstanding my dedication and perseverance, I still fail to deliver brilliance in anything I put my hands, mind and heart into. I'm now starting to think I really have no artistic inclinations nor have I managed throughout the years to circumscribe my self into any creative forte.


I've tried sports (tennis) during my younger years...Don't ask me about it. I sucked so bad!!! It felt like having two arms and two legs but attached to the wrong side of my torso.

I've tried the literary gridiron during my high school years...It's never receptive to a mediocre intelligence like mine.

I joined a cultural dance troupe in college, but managed, once, without great effort to bring down the group into a comedic parody in a concert that was meant to be a portrayal of a Bukidnon legend.

I tried cake decorating, which I really enjoyed the first few steps of the way but rendered me despondent towards the end.

Now, I'm laying my hand on photography, and I've not been thinking of anything else the last few weeks, but concentrating earnestly on getting a compelling subject. Yet, I feel I am failing to deliver...Again.

What is so wrong with me???


What am I really destined to be? What am I good at? I know for a fact that what I do for a living right now, is not a pursuit I'm hoping to ascend upon and look back to when I'm 65 years old and could honestly cerebrate and possibly say, "Wow, I did good in something I truly loved doing". Yes. I will forever be grateful for such a blessing. God bestowed me such a decent, respectable and a relatively easy job. It can be stressful sometimes, but overall, it's not something that consumes me and my life. I will forever be thankful for having been given the opportunity to do public service.


Behind all gratitude, contentment and comfort, there is that incite that keeps on prodding in my being to do better. To reach the zenith of my capabilities. To do something grand. Not for financial bliss but more so an act of mental, emotional and social dissection. Testing my own yardstick, so to speak.


Unfortunately, it looks bleak right now. It seems that the benchmark I've so far established is not that eminent just yet.


But I have recently realised that the criterion for greatness is not relative to the perception of others, rather, it is the act of seeking greatness. It is the acknowledgement of the fact that individuals can take on anything yet fail on everything, but realising that testing oneself is greatness in itself.


Life is too short, if I don't put my toes in any murky waters, I'll never know what and how it would feel on my skin. I will continue to be scared of failure and be forever entombed in a small narrow world.


So now, I've decided I will not question my ability. Instead, I will go on and explore this vast macrocosm, the many possibilities, appreciate the beauty of the diverse humanity and never be scared to test any waters.


Come my deathbed, I can say, " I tried that, I failed...I tried those, I failed...But at least I know what they are, because I've tried them."

I don't want to become like this flower that holds no memory of what it once was...



So for my 'pangangareer' in anything that fascinates me...onward I go. I say, bring it on!


What's next? Maybe write a book???? Oh-oh

HAPPY VALENTINES

Happy Valentines day everyone!!!

Hope this day brings a lot of love and romance in your life. Enjoy.

THE AUSTRALIAN SPIRIT AMIDST THE FIRE

The embers still glowing, smoke rising and fire surging. The bushfire in Victoria has stupefied the whole nation. Families torn. Houses destroyed. People died and some dying. Identities erased. Personal belongings charred.

It is hard to understand the intensity of this catastrophe when you're merely hearing it from the news. Although bushfires are fairly common here in Australia, nothing has prepared anyone to this severity. Brought about by changing weather, several heat waves whipped across Victoria and Adelaide the last few weeks. The actual mass fatality from burning and smoke inhalation was precedented by deaths from exhaustion and dehydration due to the rise of temperature down south. It's alarming when you see articles in the news saying Northern Territory is the coolest place in Australia nowadays, when Northern Territory should be the hottest this time of the year.

Bushfire warnings were issued as experts anticipated these kind of occurrence during bushfire seasons. But the breach between warnings and apprehensions has proven to be as devastating as it is when Tsunami hits a shore. No one can ever predict the fervor of any calamities irrespective of any forecasts.

The death toll stood at 181 this afternoon but experts warned it can go up to 250, as the search goes on for the 80 who are missing. There were reports that dead people were found inside cars trying to get away from the fires but got caught

in the deluge of blazes. Those who escaped compared the torrent of fire to that of a tsunami, which was impossible to outrun.

One town with 200 inhabitants lost 15% of it's population to the fire. In my almost 15 years of residency here in Australia, I've witnessed cyclones, floods and bushfires. However, they are nothing near in comparison to this. This is by far the biggest devastation I have ever witnessed since I came here. I am not in Victoria but I can feel the percussion this bushfire has befallen in every Australian.

A politician here in the NT, one who witnessed cyclone Tracey as well as this bushfire, said she'd rather relive Cyclone Tracy than this.

It started over the weekend when an arsonist started the Gippsland fires which somehow spread across the state. Coupled with strong winds and extremely high temperatures, it was the perfect concoction for a super bushfire.

There are photos surfacing of people deliberately lighting fires around bushfire prone areas. You sort of wonder what are in the minds of these people. What do they expect? What do they get out of it? Do they have some kind of fantasy to get burned? Why?

What we know is that this act is nothing short of MURDER, worst than murder. It's mass murder. I strongly suggest that the arsonist responsible for this bushfire should be burned to death. When I saw the desolation the victims were going through, looking for loved ones and trying so desperately to salvage anything from the ruins that may help them prove who they are at the very least...I thought to my self, why am I complaining about my old, atrocious and faded quilt cover?

Although we get a lot of rain here in the Northern Territory, we also have the dry season, which can also lead to bushfires. These photos I've posted are actual bushfires that happened in front of our house last year after we've just come back from holiday. It's the area where I took the sunset photo, which I've posted previously. It may look safe because you could actually see a fire truck containing the lit area. But it still looked and felt scary because I can physically feel the heat and hear the creaking sounds even when I was several meters away from the fire.

In times like this, you can really see the Australian spirits trying to surge amidst devastation. You can also see in them the 'bayanihan' spirit that we, Filipinos, so nurture within our society. It's this spirit that made them survive Cyclone Tracy, the Bali bombing and the Port Arthur massacre.

Estranging my self from my roots and culture is virtually impossible. I even make sure that my son knows and understands more of it than he's meaning to take on. But in tragedies like this, I am very appreciative of the fact I am also an Australian. An Australian who feels the pain that the whole nation is feeling right now. How the nation stands so dignified after the many catharses it's gone over and around throughout it's young history is a classic example of real Aussie vitality. Something to get inspiration from, and something to learn from.

Filipinos might say, " mabuhay ang Pilipino!!!"

Aussies go, "AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI! OI! OI!"

More better, "NO WORRIES MATE!"

GET WET IN DARWIN

I'm lovin' the weather here in Darwin the last few days. It's wet, it's gloomy but it's cool. (Like Forks!!! Ahahahaha! Singit na naman).

Edward can live here anytime...I'll shelter him from the sun! Free board and lodging. Anyway, he does not eat, and I love dinugoan...and he doesn't sleep. He can always sneak in our masters bedroom when my hubby's away...

Anyway, Queensland's had a cyclone, Adelaide and Melbourne had heat waves, but Darwin's welcoming the wet. Monsoon trough brought extended rain period this past week. It's cooling down this normally humid season and giving every Darwin household a free garden re-hydration. The only drawback is, our yard has become an oasis for Cane Toad wanderers. It's not safe for my adopted son to go out on his own even in our own backyard. He hates their croaking sound and would love to tear their skin out...which will be fatal for him. If you have read my post loooong time ago about cane toads being pests here in the Northern Territory, Queensland and West Australia, you'd know why. I suppose there is no hope for these disgusting looking toads to be eradicated.

I'm hoping this weather's gonna go on 'till May...then we'll have the cold southern winter wind. Wouldn't it be good....

I'm getting sleepy now with the tripitraptrap sound up on our roof...Good night.

Oh, how are my pictures? Any comments?

COLECCIONES DE ESTANTE

My sister's just about done reading the first three books of the Twilight saga. Last time I spoke to her, she told me she's slowly reading ECLIPSE because she does not have BREAKING DAWN. She got sucked into the frenzy too, and so did my cousin, Bebz. Once you've gone past TWILIGHT, and started on NEW MOON, there is no stopping anymore. I hope my sis have finally found the last book because I know how it feels to search every corner of every bookstore you get into for the missing book. In fact, I have searched the whole of Australia for ECLIPSE back in December (or something). It's an atrocious experience. I had nightmares!!!

Anyway, my sister told me she's really going to put the whole series of books on he 'ESTANTE'. It's funny, because she's never the kind who parades books as some form of house decors for people to see in her lounge room. It's also funny because I have done exactly the same thing. I have a book shelf full off books in our study, far from guests sights. But since that book shelf is so full already, I have decided to fill up another bookshelf in our first living room with only my favorites, if not my first choice(s).

Now, they definitely look like house decors. Weird and...just weird. But there is no better place for them to be in right now but somewhere where people/guests will recognize straight away that whoever is living in this house is a TWILIGHT addict...and they better not criticise the saga and Stephenie Meyer, unless they want to be thrown out of the house!

For the longest time, I have not read a book that has really impressed me the way these four did. The last ,I think, was ' THE DA VINCI CODE' and ' ANGELS AND DEMONS'. I've read a lot of books since then, but nothing that made me think, how the hell did this writer come up with such a plot?

If you want to know how piteous I've become when it comes to this saga...here's an approximation...how about reading all four books 5 times since December?

God, I need a shrink!

Here's another Stephenie Meyer's which I bought today, THE HOST. Is it the weekend yet? Don't think its a good idea to start this one now. I Won't be sleeping tonight.

Monday down....Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to go...........