A One Way Voyage........

I live life not the way I want it. I live life the way I decided. Decisions never always reflect what you want. Whether it's a mistake or not, it is the way God wanted it to be. Not known for now, but there is a reason, for I have died once, yet lived again. Be it fraught with upsets, at the end of the road, for as long as I can say "I have not harmed a soul", then it withstood the waves and the journey was perfect.-Falcon116

Sunday, September 20

ZERO DEGREES AND FALLING

I can't believe my hubby's nephew, Ferdie, is making it good out there in the music world. I remember him as a young man when he stayed with us in our old house for several months. I knew then he's got potentials because he really had a great voice.

He used to lock himself up in his bedroom and just sing his heart away while playing his guitar. He writes his own songs too. Now, he's got a band. He's the lead vocalist in this band called ZERO DEGREES AND FALLING, while his brother, Bong Bong, is the drummer. I am closer to their brother Murray though because he's stayed with us longer and we were pretty much on together to so many craziness (like setting him up dates and stuffs).

But it's really good to see him doing well. Good on yah Ferdie and Bong Bong. Hope you make it big out there, and hope to see you in MTV soon. Good luck with the new CD to be released....




Friday, September 18

ROAD OF UNCERTAINTY

Right now, my future really looks uncertain. Though this new journey is something that I asked for, fought for, competed for and worked hard for, the triumph is still to be had. Countless agonizing headaches and unbearable frustrations are expected. But as always, I remain positive but cautious.

Today was my last day at work...somehow, I still can't say 'my previous work'. I have been in this area for almost ten years now, and some people I have worked with since I don't know when...forever. It was hard leaving the place. I am not certain whether I'll be coming back. I wish, financially, I won't. But emotionally, there is that feeling of security when I am amongst these people, and I will be longing for that refuge and comfort.

My comfort zone had been well protected since I last had a major issue in life. But two of my bosses pushed me out of it and made me more audacious. All of a sudden, here, I found myself braving the outside world on my own...without them, and out of that comfort zone (on the nail).

Deep within, I know it's a rusty nail. Something I have to get out of. But somehow I really found it hard to leave work today because I know that whatever I will be doing here in my next journey, I will be doing my damnedest best...And there remains a possibility that I might not be coming back.

Today, I went against the tradition. When someone leaves, the staffs usually give a morning tea for everyone. I refused to do this because I owe a lot to my colleagues. I, instead put in a morning tea for everyone ( hey, that was with labor and love staying up all night cooking!!!) as my thanks to everyone for being nice, kind and respectful to me as a person, an alien(being of a different racial background) and a team leader.
But hey, who got surprised? Me! I can't believe they would give me a yellow and white gold earrings. Hayley, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I will treasure and guard this with my life, I swear. Apart from that, they also gave me a plant(well, someone knows me too well...), two crystal candle holders, scented candles and SCRATCHIES!!!!!! Someone truly knows me, it's scary!

To everyone who's put in for this and to everyone who were really good to me....THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Nikki, Lynette, Peter, Melanie, Robyn, Alyshia, Marg (hope everything's OK darling), Brenda, Matthew, Liz(THE MAGICIAN, I know sweetheart), Erin-lee, Sue, Vicki, Leanne, Hazel, Yvonne, Janine and to my mentors and to my praised gurus...Cheryl O (thank you boss), James (thank you ex-boss), Harry (thank you for teaching me so many things.)...........Thank you all for making me feel, I do belong. I will be missing you all. But for as long as we are all in Darwin, then there will always be a 50/50 chance of bumping into each other somewhere. So, see you all soon.


As I've said, I might be back next month...............hope not though.

Sunday, September 13

TEN THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE

1. To sky dive
2. Get a licence to fly a plane
3. To see at least 20 more countries and experience their culture
4. To be able to take care of my Mum and Dad and see my son in a comfortable and secure life
5. To be able to change at least one life for good.
6. Be able to truly forgive and be forgiven
7. Feel love and be loved again
8. Loose 20Kilos
9. Conquer a fear
10. Be at peace with God

Saturday, September 12

UPS, DOWNS AND DECISIONS TO MAKE


I do realise my blog posts are getting few and far between. My life's generally gone into circus the last few months. A little drama here and there...within the tribe, within my family and within my workplace. 'Just like the sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives'. But nothing too hard to handle, really.

First off...Yes, once again, Tribung Tralala has conquered the 2009 Darwin Barrio Fiesta. And YES, our stall was the best that night. Unfortunately, FAANT forgot to take the judges around to make a decision on who's won the best stall for the night. It's a bit of disorganisation on their part, but hey, the queue of customers spoke for itself. Unofficially though, we were told by a committee member that they will find a way to bestow us the price money because it was way too obvious that our stall was the best anyway. Hopefully, technicalities aside, the other stall owners will just admit to what was evident that night.
No, it was not all flowers, bright colors and smiles. We did confront several internal issues. In a group flourishing in numbers as well as prospects, factions are but an inevitable reality. I am just hoping that our long history of friendship will predominate what other vexing elements there may be.
Anyway, it looks like we've surpassed the initial hurdles we have encountered last year. Meeting the demands, no wastage and lesser drudgery. Altogether, we have transcended into a better working group/company rather that better friends, unfortunately. Sad to say that we started this out of fun, but this time around, it's become more of a conclave with conventions to adhere to.

With all honesty, I am still hoping that we'll get over the pangs this event has caused the pioneers of the Tribe. May we always remember the good times instead of the bad. May we always rise to the merit of our friendship rather than the worth of $$$. We acknowledge, we as individuals have flaws, but I hope our flaws will instead make us amenable to others.


We all have gone through so much together, helped each other in times of need and laughed so much together that no words nor whatever little money value there is should put any contentions between us. If friendship sustains, then all the back ache I've felt after the fiesta are all worth it. Knowing all the pioneering members by heart, I am sure we will one day put aside differences and embrace the invariable history we have shared...One day...as it starts healing today.



Anyway, enough of the Tribu dramas, and more about me....


I have won another job in the Department of Justice. I am not sure whether I should rejoice or be sad. I love my current job. I know it by heart, the ins and outs. I love the people I work with. I love every bit of it. But as they say...move on before it gets too comfortable, you are highly dependent of it. My former boss always tells me, "Get out of your comfort zone". Well, the time has come. I thought I'd never be able to explore if I don't get out. I'd never be truly comfortable if I am not familiar with what's outside the box.

So, I applied for this job. It was not an easy application. A lot of people from within and outside the government applied. Three got short-listed for an interview. I am one of those three. So I went to the interview armed only with what knowledge I have from my current job. Apparently it was very hard to separate the three candidates and the panel could not come to a conclusion, so they employed DRAKE INTERNATIONAL to conduct a test/examination for the three of us. This is not a common HR process that the NT Government go through...actually, it's the first I've heard of.

I almost pulled out my application because the stress level that I was experiencing back then was too much. I thought I'd never be able to handle it. But someone told me to just stick to it 'till the next day because one or the other two applicants might pull out before me. So I decided to wait it out.

Yes, I do believe so much in God. I may not be religious, but my faith is unquestionable. The first and last thing I do everyday is pray. Every time I wake up in the morning, I pray and thank God. Before I go to sleep at night, I pray and thank Him again. At that point, I secretly prayed in front of my computer while working. I asked Him for guidance. My staff might laugh at this if they ever read this...

But anyway that same morning I was told to ring Drake International for an appointment, I was talking to a friend at work (Maggie) about the stress this process is causing me and she was trying to convince me to go for the test. At the same time, I was generating a daily exemption report in my work computer...then out came the very first vendor on the report...Guess what it is! DRAKE INTERNATIONAL! Maggie and I laughed at it. Then that same morning, in just a matter of hour, a query was passed on to me by one of my staff who've been tracking down an employee...Guess who the query is about! My very first EXCEL teacher at 'JOB FIND' when I was still looking for jobs over ten years ago. I remember her name so well. So I ran and told Maggie about it. Again, we laughed. Coincidence or not, who knows, but that was the sign I asked for.

Anyway, be that the deciding factor or not, I went to this test (abstract reasoning-more of an IQ test, Accounting and Excel) couple of days after. I thought, I may hate failure so much, but what have I got to loose? I have a job no matter what. (But I still hate failing!)

A week after, I was told I nailed the test and killed the other two applicants. WHHHOooaaahhh! I was not happy I got the job. I was happy I passed the test. Boy was I proud of my self!!!

Then came the realisation that the decision is in my hand whether to accept the offer or not. My ex and current boss are very supportive, they are the two people who have pushed me to go on further and tackle on more responsibilities. They are the two people I ask guidance from when it comes to work because these are the two people who truly believed in my capabilities. So, decision came easy with their advice.

I spent the last two days( Thursday and Friday)in the new workplace, which is, in itself very intimidating. The office is inside the prison here in Darwin, in the middle of nowhere. New office, new staff, new weird environment, new daily route, away from shopping centres...Which I think is the biggest incentive. Food's cheap...cooked by prisoners...Hey I wasn't game enough to eat them, but I was shown how they're prepared and cooked and the security involved while they are in the kitchen. I think it's air-tight. So I ordered my lunch from the prisoner's kitchen during the two days that I was there.

This coming week will be my last week with my current work. I'm sure it will be busy and hectic...and sad of course.

But as always, I look forward to a new journey. It might not work, I might not be able to deliver what's expected of me, but I will most certainly try my best.

So for those who believe in me....you know who you are...Thank you all. Hope you will all remain my friends in years to come...'till life itself ceases. I value all my friends, so even if you won't see me as often as you used to, remember, I am just a phone call away and all our experiences will forever be treasured in my heart.

I meant friends at work, friends in the tribe and around the world.


ABOVE ALL, MY FAMILY.



(I probably won't be able to post blogs as often as I wish, but I regularly visit facebook, so hear and talk to me there everyday.)