A One Way Voyage........

I live life not the way I want it. I live life the way I decided. Decisions never always reflect what you want. Whether it's a mistake or not, it is the way God wanted it to be. Not known for now, but there is a reason, for I have died once, yet lived again. Be it fraught with upsets, at the end of the road, for as long as I can say "I have not harmed a soul", then it withstood the waves and the journey was perfect.-Falcon116

Thursday, May 21


This afternoon, Jashkah presented me with a couple of forms from school that he said, I needed to sign. One of which is an application form for McDonald's. As in McDonald's the globalised fast food franchise.
I knew my son's 14th birthday is coming up, but I didn't realise part-autonomy, independence and self-sufficiency comes with it. It bothered me a lot, because I've always told my self I will never send my son to work while he's still in school. I will never allow him to experience the satisfaction of earning meagre amount of money because he might think it can readily sustain him for the rest of his life. I wanted him to finish school and get the education that he so rightfully deserve. Education was prime and foremost. Money later.
I decided back then that I will bear all cost and provide him with every single thing he may one day need and want for as long as he's in school. When he's done with his schooling, then he can work and earn his own sweat.
That was my principle...back then.
Then along comes the realisation that part of that education is how you earn your own money, because what comes with it is the learning of the value of your own hard work.
So now, I am in a quagmire of ambiguity. I've been debating and arguing with my self for the last 6 hours since he came home from school. He recently told me that I am 'OVER PROTECTIVE', and that I should let him out a bit...I am lost here. Am I the only mother being accused of being over protective?
But then again...he is now in fact a 14 year old MAN.
I do realise I need to allow him space for some decision-making in his life. It's the only way for him to experience the facts of life.
Back to his overture...more like argument and rationalisation as to why he should work: we are going to Philippines this December for a holiday. He needs spending money.
My argument is: he's got $25.00 allowance every week, therefore he will have spending money if he knows how to save.
His rebuttal: It's not enough.
Mine: Clean up my car and the house every weekend and I'll pay extra.
He, no doubt, wasn't happy with how that ended. As usual, I had the last say...So should all mothers;=)
But it doesn't mean mothers should always win. We should all open our minds and consider their arguments and all avenues. I might sound like a condescending mum, but I am usually a very broad minded mum. I allow reasoning and contemplate on it. And I do not make decisions simply to demonstrate my power. I make my decisions based on arguments presented to me...PLUS...logic.
I haven't made my decision yet, but my son does not know that. He probably thinks that was the end of the discussion.
It really is not easy to be a mum...a mum of a teenager at that. But I am glad that he is now exercising his self-reliance and individuality. It may be too hard to admit, but he is starting to grow his own wings...and I have the responsibility to show him how to make use of those wings and fly...and SOAR HIGH gracefully like a falcon.
You will only understand a parent's love once you are one yourself.

Happy birthday Jashkah. I love you so much.


shnaggy said...

oh jashkah...lastime i saw you you were just a cute little kiddo that i even asked you to sleep with me. and remember we recorded your voice and i set it as my message alert tone? well, i gave that phone to grampa and everytime he gets a message we hear your cute voice. do you ever remember what you said in that recording?

ah well...time has changed so fast...you are now a young man. and soon you will grow your wings and become a full-fledge gentleman.
always remember to respect your mum and dad, the people around you, and specially girls. hmmm...

take care and take charge of your life...

see you soon!!!

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